Seasons of Mist

Otherwise known as

Things I Don’t Think I Can Ever Do as a Woman Because It Makes my Skin Crawl like Millions of Slimy Bugs Skittering All Over Me Even if I’m on Lots of Hormones and Wanting Oh So Badly to Blend in as One of the Gal Pals

(Disclaimer: I reserve the right to do these things but will probably have to bend over and laugh until I puke if I do.)

1. Use the word “yummy” in casual conversation (as in, “Oh, that was so YUMMY!”)
2. Use the word “Tummy” as in “My tummy got sick when I heard you use the word “Yummy.” (gag me with an effin’ spoon, gaaaaa!)
3. Wear pink sweatshirts with cheesy teddy bears on them.
4. Wear cucumbers on my eyelids at night. (No, i don’t care WHAT it does for my face!)
5. Wear underwear with the days of the week written on them.

…more to come!